Dating Single Parent
The number one no-no is never say that you can’t stand kids, or you do not want to have children.
As marriage break up is ever on the increase, the chances are that a lot of people end up in a dating single parent situation. Having a young child makes having a social life difficult in any circumstances. Being a lone parent makes it doubly hard. Even if you can find a regular, trustworthy babysitter, the potential date might back off at the sight of sticky powdered milk on your clothes.
This will definitely get you out the door in a flash. Single parents tend to be more protective of their children than parents who share this responsibility; it is much harder on them trying to fill the position of both mother and father.
It’s best to be upfront in these circumstances. Don’t spring a surprise when you’re standing at the alter. There is a lot of pressure on everyone involved. It’s like dating the child as well as dating single parent. The child may disapprove and be jealous of the new person in Mum or Dad’s life. Some people try to win the child over by showering them with gifts. This rarely works and certainly doesn’t offer a long term solution. Trust has to be built up and it takes hard work and time. The child must feel that they still come first, without giving in to their unreasonable demands.
Most single parents make their children the number one priority in their lives, so if you know that you don’t want to share this spot with the children then you should not bother going out on another date with the single parent.
Of course, sometimes it’s two people in the same boat that come together. If you’re lucky, the children from both parties will get on like a house on fire. Alternatively, they may end up strangling each other. No one said that dating single parent and offspring would be easy. This situation doesn’t come with a simple step by step instruction manual. Patience is the keyword.
If it’s a serious relationship developing, then any problems with children have to be addressed before living together or marriage is an option. Emphasize the fact that you’re not trying to take the place of Mum and Dad but that you still demand to be shown courtesy. Finding common ground is vital. Try to share an activity together.
In the movie, About a Boy, Hugh Grant plays a man who discovers that his romantic opportunities are increased by pretending to be a single Dad. He decides that dating single parent scenarios will bring him great kudos. He gets his comeuppance of course. Being a single parent will probably attract and repel the opposite sex in equal measure. It does work a surprisingly high percentage of time. Stepparents and stepsiblings are the fastest growing group on the planet despite all the problems. Every sort of parent needs a well earned break now and then. Just don’t ring the babysitter every five minutes. It really does spoil the mood.
